Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
our cab driver is having phone sex.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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