And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
