I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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