My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Randomize
