are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
