Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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