Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
