Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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