i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize