I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
