Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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