Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
