It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
