yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
