i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
