Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The struggles of a small town man whore
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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