this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
