You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
