The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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