You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
