im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
either way he was missing a nipple.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
