I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She even gives head with a lisp.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
