Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
