He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
