Where is the hickey?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize