Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
