It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
