I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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