3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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