dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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