the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
