is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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