It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I looked at my own cervix.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
