He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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