actually, I'm a sock model
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
