I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
