The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
