Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
