Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
