Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
