is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
false alarm, still single
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