we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
