The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
