you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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