what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
