do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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