Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
