Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
