btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
