come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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