Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I looked at my own cervix.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
