your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
