party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
