I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
