everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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