last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
