why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
