just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm just crazy horny about you
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
