just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
