That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
