3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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