You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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