You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Randomize
