i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
